He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
