Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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