I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
