Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
