Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
