Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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