Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
