well most of my day revolves around power hour
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
