That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
