Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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