You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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