Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Randomize
