Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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