I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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