So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
