Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
