There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
