She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
