He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
