I need help removing her.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
