i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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