marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
