She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
