At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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