dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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