grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
