My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
