So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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