im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
