I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i was born a porn star she said
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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