worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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