so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
