not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize