Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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