what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
