He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
