remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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