he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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