im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I lost the right to judge tonight
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
