Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
