I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
