Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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