So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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