im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i may or may not be watching the land before time
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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