Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize