Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
