i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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