okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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