i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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