There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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