well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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