I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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