o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
