I hate all girls vehemently.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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