so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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